it is impossible to put down in words, how much i love ivan!
but then, the weirdest thing just happened. i mean doing the research on my favourite celebs is my favourite past time. people know i can spend hours at a time on it, just like tonight, or rather, this morning. but i've never felt jealous before. not ever, until now.

i was just talking to jed about the jealousy thing the other day. and now... well translation of all this i'm babbling about--i found ivan's girlfriend's blog. i knew he had a girlfriend. i knew she was called april. what i didn't know, is that she's 2-3 years older than him. which is really weird, considering he's young, and they've been together for quite some time. but what i didn't realise, was that ivan was her boyfriend. in other words, she is the source of ivan's encouragement. she is the one that keeps him going. she is the one he comes home to everytime he's done touring.

its not fair, i was just telling fiq, that she gets to treat him like a normal person. she's falling head over heels for him, and what seperates her from his fans, is that he's going gaga over her too. i mean, when you find the blog of your celeb crush's girlfriend, you're expecting to read about how hard she has to fight to keep him (in your dreams). somehow, i didn't expect to find this:

she was with him before he became famous. she treats him like how we at the other end of the world would treat our own boyfriends. she has the nerve to get pissed with him. in the hollywood world, its hard to believe that this still exsist.

see that green monster? i've watched videos of them at parties, just having everyday fun, just sitting with a group of friends in front of the tv, just doing silly stuff, just talking. just. i know i'm talking nonsense, but its not nonsense in my head. i just have no idea how to put all of it in words. i'm done complaining though, i suppose. for i found one particular silly video that not only cheered me up, but caused me to laugh until i got an ache in my side.

♥ Do what you do,
down on me